It all started on Saturday morning when Daddy and I took Top Ender and Baby Boy for breakfast at Ikea, before our scheduled trip to the Supermarket for the weekly groceries.
Whilst we were waiting to pay Baby Boy decided to spill his purple juice drink all over my white top. I didn't bother over this as I have had plenty worse on my clothes from Baby Boy or Top Ender in the past. Daddy however seemed to be more upset it and about my choice not to go home to change before going shopping.
The resulting conversation (read heated exchange in muted tones as we were out in public) revealed more than I thought it would due to two sentences that Daddy said.
"I like people to look at me and then to look who I am with and go Wow!"
The first picture Daddy saw of me and apparently he said Wow when he saw it.
I didn't know he felt that way about me. I don't feel that way about me so why should he? He followed it up with;
"You always took so much pride in your appearance, I don't know why you have given up."
I haven't given up! I always make sure that my clothes don't have sick or poop or food on them when I put them on. I always make sure that I don't wear navy shoes if I am wearing black and I have been known on occasion to wear make up. I haven't given up caring what I look like...
Oh Crap. I have given up. Sure I make sure that the clothes I wear don't have sick or poop or food on them when I put them on in the morning, but I don't care if they make me look good or pretty. I don't care if they enhance my shape and flatter me or just cover my nakedness. I don't wear make up anymore and so I constantly look like someone who needs a few hours more sleep and time outside.
The day we got back from our honeymoon, only a couple hours sleep yet I look fabulous right?
I want to look good. I want to wear pretty clothes that make me feel pretty, that make me look pretty. I don't want to make my husband think I have given up on myself
I think I just re-found the reason I need to lose weight.
So this week I weigh the same as last week (I'm 18st, 12lbs) and my plans for this week are;
Breakfast: Bowl of Bran Flakes with semi-skimmed Milk and a slice of toast with marmalade (that I don't actually like that much but it needs to be eaten) and a small glass of milk.
Lunch: Sandwich with fruit or left overs from the night before.
Monday: Roast Beef and Trimmings (we ate the leftover Chinese yesterday)
Tuesday: Spaghetti Bolognese (smuggled veggies!)
Wednesday: Beef curry with rice (smuggled veggies!)
Thursday: Sausage pie (Top Ender and Baby Boy really like my pie)
Friday: Pizza (Yummy and helps prevent cancer!)
Saturday: Steak, mash and vegetable (plus if I can swing it peppercorn sauce)
Sunday: Roast Turkey and Trimmings
My Exercise routine is being shaken up this week with a 30 minute walk every week day, ten minutes doing weights, 15 minutes of dancing a day and an additional 30 minutes everyday following an online work out and an hour of general exercise outside at the gym in the park.