Top Enders actual birth was quite normal. Well her cord was wrapped around her neck (which I knew as I could see on the monitor after every contraction her heart rate dropped a little and I told the Midwife that the cord was around the babies neck as the heart rate kept dropping but she told me it didn't mean that, but I could tell from the panic in her eyes I was right) but that was resolved without any hassle.
|Top Ender and I moments after her birth|
The first stitch went in and I remember thinking that she was right this hurt more than the labour and took a long deep breath of the gas and air and another and another...
As I took the deep calming breaths of the gas and air I could feel myself getting lighter, floating away from the pain and the bed that I was reclined on.
Time. slowed. down.
I could see Daddy holding Top Ender, I could see the trainee midwife busy working and all I could hear were my own thoughts which were suddenly interrupted by a long high pitched beep.
I suddenly realised that the monitor next to me was making the noise. Only one machine in a hospital makes a noise like this. The only time that you hear this noise is when a heart monitor is tracing your heart and your heart stops.
The first thought that went through my head was that I had held my daughter before I had died and that her Daddy would look after her and love her for the both of us. I was so sad that I was going to leave Top Ender and Daddy behind but was so calm about it because I knew that they would be okay.
I focused my eyes on them wanting them to be the last thing I saw before I died.
It was now that I realised that I was taking an awfully long time to die and that neither the trainee midwife or Daddy seemed too bothered by my sudden lack of heart activity.
I turned to look at the heart monitor next to me and then remembered that it wasn't a heart monitor it was a fetal heart and uterine contraction monitor. It was no longer monitoring anything and had decided to alert those around that there was no activity by emitting a long high pitched beep.
The trainee midwife saw me looking at the machine and lent over and turned it off, whilst I put the gas and air tube down and braced myself for the rest of the stitches.
After nearly dying a few stitches wouldn't be that bad.