A Mothers Ramblings: Its my party (and I'll cry if I want to)

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Its my party (and I'll cry if I want to)

Today is my Birthday.

I have had several of them, but every year I get the same excited feeling. I can't explain what I feel about birthdays (not just my birthday but any birthday) but they make me want to cry happy tears. I love that we celebrate being born, the start of our lives. I feel much more alive on my birthday.

This isn't my drink, I was holding it for someone. Honest!
I don't mind that I am turning another year older. I was talking to a playground Mum and she was talking about how at the moment for her birthdays are a negative reminder that time is passing by. There isn't much time left for her to do what she wants to do. I really don't understand that. I don't feel old, I don't feel older than I did when I was 16 or 18, heck sometimes I don't even believe that I am really an adult.

Of course several of my birthdays have been let downs; Like my Seventh birthday we had just moved to a new house in a new area and I didn't have any friends to invite to a party and to top it all off it rained! Then several of my birthdays have been more joyous than expected. Did you know that I passed my driving test on my Twenty-First birthday? Yes I realise now what a silly thing it was to do, what if I had failed?!

I don't mind that as I am sitting here typing this that I haven't got a birthday cake. I don't mind that I know what the gifts wrapped up and hidden on Daddy's side of the bed are. I don't mind that I will have a few odd people leave me birthday greetings on Facebook and that there are people who won't be here to celebrate with me.

Today I am going to celebrate all that is great and good in my life. I am going to eat what I want, drink what I want and tonight when it is nearly all over I will look back over the last year, the last decade, the last quarter of a century and think of how lucky I have been to have experienced all I have. How lucky I am to have loved to have been loved. How lucky I am that everyone who is important in my life knows that they are... and if I want to I might cry because after all it is My party.