A Mothers Ramblings: We will remember them

Thursday, 11 November 2010

We will remember them

At 11am today I will take part in two minutes silence to remember the people have given the ultimate sacrifice for me to live the life I do today. Several of my extended family are in the Services and I don't think that I have told them enough how much I respect what they do and how grateful I am.

The hardest time for me will be at 11:02am today though.

You see at 11:02am 32 years ago my parents got married. Yup, they got married on the 11th of the 11th at 11 O'clock, the registrar pausing for two minutes silence before carrying out the service as a mark of respect.

When my parents got divorced I was a grown up, and yet I felt like a little child. There are a lot of websites and books out there about how to help children through divorce, but none that I read helped me as an adult child to come to terms with what happened.

I still don't think that I have fully dealt with my emotions a good four after my parents first separated.

I have had to come to terms with my parents divorcing, my father living with another woman and marrying her, and I was forced to stop seeing my childhood through the rose tinted glasses I tend to wear. In a way I was really mourning the death of a life that I expected to happen.

It would of been a good life.

I'm not going to go in to detail, that would be unfair. All I will say is that cutting ties with someone to stop them from hurting you and your family doesn't always work. I punish myself everyday wondering if I have done the right thing. Wondering if my children are missing out, if I have caused them to miss out.

Wondering if there was something that I could of done to have stopped my parents from hurting and then divorcing. Wondering if it was going to be my fate too.

Thanks to a very clever man, I know that this isn't my fate because I am not my parents.


So at 11am I will think of those who gave their life for me and at 11:02 I will cry a little, remembering the young couple that got married today all those years ago.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning 
We will remember them.