A Mothers Ramblings: Going the Distance/Why my Marriage Works

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Going the Distance/Why my Marriage Works

Just before Christmas I was sent a link about a couple who have travelled the world asking the people that they meet about the secret to a long lasting relationship and now they are about to travel the UK asking the same thing. You can see them on Facebook and on YouTube or by going to goingthedistanceuk.com, and I will be interested in what it is that others have to say because whilst I don't proclaim to be an expert I can tell you why my marriage works.


You see when I first met Daddy I knew that we were going to be married, in fact he pretty much knew the same thing at the same time. It wasn't just love at first sight, it was understanding at first sight. We introduced each other to new things, we discovered things about each other (and ourselves) and we made each other laugh. I think that a few people know that Daddy and I got engaged just three days after we had met, (although to not worry our parents as much we waited a few months before we made it official), and this was because we knew that we had found the right person to be with.

If you ask Daddy about why we work as a couple he would answer that we are very alike, compatible and silly, and after he had asked me a dozen times why I was asking him he would then say "And because I can finish any..." and wait for me to finish the sentence. I know this to be true because I asked him. I also finished his sentence with "thing that you cook", which wasn't what he wanted me to say but did start a five minute conversation with us trading mock insults and rather outlandish endings to the sentence.

On our Wedding Day

This actually sums us up quite well. We are alike and compatible and only one of them was due to luck. Early on in our relationship we established our rules and boundaries. We talked about what we wanted in our futures, we talked about what our life goals were, what we wanted from each other, what we expected from our life, what we didn't want and what we didn't like. It wasn't so much as we sat down with a list of questions and gave our answer, but we talked and talked and talked. Talking is something that everyone does everyday in every relationship, but actually listening and processing so that it is understood? Not everyone does that as has been proved time and time again with people we know.

If you were to ask me why we work as a couple I would tell you pretty much the same as Daddy did. Apart from I would also mention being there for each other, knowing how to cheer the other person up, knowing how to tell when "nothing" really is nothing and also not giving up at the first hurdle (as so many other seem to do these days) and then I would add the biggest secret of them all. The real secret to any lasting relationship (whether it be with your partner, your parents, your children, your best friend, your work colleagues) is to put them first. Honestly, it is as simple as that.