A Mothers Ramblings: How To Be A Grown Up

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

How To Be A Grown Up

I've been thinking in recent weeks about what it means to be a Grown up.

I mean I know that I am a grown up, I have Children and responsibility and I even purchased myself a new Sofa which is, I think the most grown up thing I've ever done! However I have a penchant for Socks, I spend far too much time giggling when someone says something slightly rude (the lady at training the other night said "Do do this..." and I nearly wet myself giggling because she said do do) and if I'm perfectly honest I'm probably only as mature as an eight year old...

One of my Friends said that I looked like I'd passed wind and was trying to hide it in this photo!

So, I decided to come up with some How to be a Grown Up Rules and I present to you my thoughts!

I spoke with a couple of friends around my age about this. I then spoke with a couple of friends who are slightly older than myself. I then spoke with a couple of friends who are much older than me.

It was then that it hit me.

Nobody has a clue what they are doing.

All of us have two things to remember, firstly that we don't have a clue what we are doing and are just making the best of the limited information that we have AND secondly that everyone else is in the same boat.

Honestly, think about it, it's one of those truths that when you realise it is true changes everything you know. Nobody has a clue what they are doing. You don't, I don't, the woman down the street that really annoyed you last week doesn't and the driver of the cart that just cut you up doesn't either!

And you know what? It's okay. We all do our best. Oh. make that three things we have to remember. We all are doing our best.

Just keep swimming (hopefully forward).

Okay, so one of my favourite little fish said this, but it doesn't make it any less true. We all need to push ourselves and as I said above, hopefully forward.

Now this doesn't mean we shouldn't heed the past. I've said many times before that every situation we find ourself in someone has had some experience of and we can learn a lot from the way they handled the situation to help us through our situation.

The problem comes when we repeat the same mistake over and over. We need to move forward, learn from our mistakes NOT continue making them.

Be a good friend.

Friendship is a big thing for me. I've written about it several times before, but I've learnt something really amazing in my search for Friendship. I've learnt that being a good friend is what is important. I've learnt that we go through phases. sometimes I'm the good friend, sometimes it's my friends that are the good friend.

What we need to do however is try to ensure that we are a good friend. That we support, that we love and that we reach out too.

Help others if you can.

And with that we should talk about helping others. It doesn't matter how we do it, but we should help others. It could be that we donate to charity. It could be that we give up our time. It could be that we do one of a million things, the important thing however is that if we have the opportunity to help others we should.

Life can be sucky enough without us being sucky too.

Accept help if you need it.

It's funny isn't it? We can offer help to people all the time. We can be truly great at giving help, but when we need help we refuse to admit it or even accept it.

Look it's simple. If you need help and someone else wants to help you then it is probably good to accept it! Yes, admittedly there are sometimes strings attached, but if you have good friends then there shouldn't be. Just be careful And accept the help!

If you're stuck, then do something immediate.

This is my favourite realisation. Recently when I've been trying to be Proactive, I've realised that there are times when I get stuck.

I can't seem to do anything. It might be that I am thinking things over too much, it might be that I can't see the solution or indeed that I'm ready to see the full solution. So I do something immediate. Normally it's clean the bathroom because I actually like cleaning my bathroom!

However, the point is that I am then ready to do what I was stuck on and this works for everything and everyone.

Next time you are stuck give it a go!

Build others up.

We hear this advice for Children all the time. Build them up, let them know how good and great they are and then we forget about it when it comes to others in our life.

Imagine how great this World would be if instead of gossiping and disparaging one another we built each other up.

I'd quite like to live in that world.

Do something for you that is fun.

I think that we forget that we like to have fun as we get older and become what we think is a grown up. And that's a problem. We LOVE to have fun and so we should.

It might be that we like to knit (I've found out recently that I like to knit!), it might be that we like to draw (I forgot that I like to draw until recently), it might be that we like watching Netflix for hours on end... Whatever it is that we like, we need to do it to relax and to enjoy life!

Accept there are some things you can't change. And change the things you can that need it!

And lastly, a very important and serious point. We must accept that there are some things that we can't change. We need to stop wasting our time and energies and we need to start concentrating on the things that we can change and that need it.

So these are my Rules for how to be a grown up. What would you add or do you think I've hit the nail on the head?!