A Mothers Ramblings: Saying Goodbye

Monday, 27 June 2016

Saying Goodbye

Last week, we travelled to Norfolk to St Faith's Crematorium to say goodbye to my Nan after her death on Dan Jon Jr's birthday. I really don't know what it is with relatives dying on my Children's birthdays, but I've always told my Children that this means they have a special bond with the relative who has died and that they will be like a Guardian Angel for them. I have no idea if this is true or not, but it brings my Children and I great comfort and I guess that was my intention in telling them this.

The service was lovely. The officiant, spoke in that calm reassuring way that we've come to expect at Funerals and despite having never met him, I felt that his welcome was sincere. He let us mourn how we wanted. We laughed. We cried. We said goodbye.

Flyfour, the Children and I had decided that instead of going to the official wake we would disappear off after the Funeral Service to Cromer Pier, a place that we visited with my Nan every time we went to visit with her. In fact, there is a photograph of my Nan that I took on this pier that she loved, she said I captured her and I think that's true, although there was no gin and tonic in her hand...

Cromer Pier

We decided that we would go and have Fish and Chips on the Sea Front at Cromer and paddle in the Sea and build sandcastles and write messages ready to be washed away at high tide. We would hang out with my Sister and her family and share memories and just relax after what we were expecting to be an emotional few hours at the Funeral.

We had fun, we enjoyed the sun, the sea and we even managed to have Fish and Chips.

Dan Jon Jr at CromerTop Ender at Cromer

We drove home slowly, taking a detour via my Nan's home so we could say goodbye.

It was the right way for us to say goodbye.

We may have said our Goodbyes but we are all still grieving, we know from experience this isn't a process to be rushed. We're talking it through when we need to, we're writing in our journals, creating things and spending time sharing memories.

I've found that I keep repeating the poem we left on the Flowers we sent.

We thought of you today, but that is nothing new. 
We thought about you yesterday, and the days before that too. 
We think of you in silence and yet we often speak your name. 
Now all we have are memories, and your picture in a frame. 
Your memory is our keepsake, with which we'll never part. 
God has you in his keeping. We have you in our hearts.

It sums up how I feel perfectly.