Pippa's Plan To Take Over The World

If you know me well, then you know that you can't tell me anything.

I don't mean, that you can't tell me secrets (once they are in my head they are locked solid), I mean that I need time to process, ruminate and come to my own conclusion before accepting facts about me that are very obvious to you.

For example, did you know I'm stubborn? How about that I'm neurotic? What about Impatient? Yeah, it all came as news to me.

A picture of PippaD, ready to take over the world after her nap. And her lunchbreak.

My friends and family are used to this now and know when they have realised something before I have that they need to drop several little clues in order to get my creative brain going and to come to the same conclusion.

Which is why I'm finally ready to take over the world.

It's been a plan for several years, I've just not been ready... or rather I hadn't realised that I had been ready.

So here is my twelve-point plan to take over the world.

  1. Secure the Perfect Job:
    I'm aiming to land a job that not only pays the bills but also allows me to showcase my skills and talents. Does anyone have any idea what they are?! Whatever the role is, I'll make sure it's a role where I can truly shine and make a difference, all while secretly plotting to hasten my world domination during tea breaks and boring meetings.

  2. Host Weekly Dress-Up Days:
    I'll institute a weekly office tradition where everyone must come dressed in outlandish costumes. This will not only foster creativity and camaraderie but also subtly assert my dominance as the trendsetter of the workplace, plus with the number of costumes I own it should be a breeze.

  3. Start a Rumour Mill:
    I'll become the unofficial gossip queen of the office by strategically spreading rumours that are both hilarious and harmless. I'll keep my colleagues entertained and on their toes with my juicy titbits while solidifying my influence within the company... Why yes Joel does take part in extreme ironing on his weekends.

  4. Launch a Secret Society:
    I'll create an exclusive club within the workplace for like-minded individuals who share my love for cats, dress up, quirky hobbies and the odd double entendre.
    I'll use this group to subtly network and build alliances that could come in handy during my eventual ascent to power.

  5. Patent a Game-Changing Invention:
    I'll develop a groundbreaking invention that may not take over the world but will certainly make life a little more interesting. Whether it's a device that translates pet thoughts or an app that turns boring meetings into improv comedy sessions, I honestly don't know because I haven't invented it yet. Whatever it is, just know that I'll let my creativity run wild and leave my mark on the world!

  6. Master the Art of Mind Control (Sort of):
    I figure, if I get into the world of meditation apps and self-help books, I can manipulate people. Well, not the masses, because that would be wrong but to discover my own inner peace and potential and politicians, because they need manipulated into being decent humans.

  7. Lead by Example:
    I'll embrace my role as a leader by setting a positive example for EVERYONE. Whether it's through my work ethic, creativity, willingness to take risks, the ability to nap at my desk or to demolish an entire donut tray in ten seconds flat, I'll show them what it means to be a true trailblazer.

  8. Stay Humble (But Keep a Tiara Handy):
    Despite my grand ambitions, I'll remember to stay humble and down-to-earth.

  9. Build My Empire, One Step at a Time:
    I'll slowly but surely lay the groundwork for my eventual takeover of the world. Whether it's through small acts of kindness, strategic networking, or honing my skills, each step will bring me closer to my ultimate goal... becoming the RULER OF THE WORLD!

  10. Don't Forget to Laugh:
    In the midst of my quest for world domination, I won't forget to laugh and enjoy the journey. Life is too short to take myself too seriously, so I'll embrace the absurdity and find humour in the everyday chaos that is this world.
    If all else fails, maybe I'll attempt a career in comedy.

  11. Stay True to Myself:
    Above all else, I'll stay true to who I am and what I believe in. My quirks and eccentricities are what make me unique, so I'll embrace them wholeheartedly as I navigate the ups and downs of life and work... just maybe with some medication yeah?!

  12. I'll Remember That With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility and a Blinking HUGE ASS Crown:
    As I inch closer to world domination (or at least domination of my own mind), I'll always remember the importance of using my power for good and not evil.
    I'll lead with integrity, compassion, and a healthy dose of mischief, and who knows what I will accomplish!
I think the biggest problem here is that this plan relies heavily on me doing work and my lazy ADHD riddled brain is just not going to let that fly...

Who knows, maybe embracing my quirks, chasing my dreams and never underestimating the power of a well-timed rumour I might find myself as Ruler of the World yet!