One Year Older And Wiser Too
It's my Birthday today.
Despite what I may have said in the past, at Midnight my age ticked over to 39. Mentally I feel no different to I did yesterday. I don't feel any wiser, but then again I don't feel my synapses degrading with each second ticking by. Physically I feel a little more tired than I did yesterday, but that's more to do with the fact I had a disturbed nights sleep and the lack of sunshine than anything to do with my age!
Today, friends have been to visit with me. They have left cards and flowers and gifts and my absolute favourite Chocolate. The time we spent together was fleeting, but it was enough to let me know that they care.
I've had friends who couldn't physically see me today, send me WhatsApp messages, voice messages and texts, wishing me the best, hoping I'm being spoilt by my family and letting me know they love me, that they know today is my special celebration day and that they wanted to mark it. I just wish some of them didn't wake up so early to send me messages. 6am is far too early on the one day you've decided to have a lay in!
I've had cards and gifts from my husband and children, some silly things, some serious things, some "I never would have purchased this for myself things". I've had cards and lots of gifts from my Mum, each one designed (gifts this is!) to nurture a particular aspect of my life.
Today I have given myself permission to have what I like to eat. So I have a large portion of leftover Curry for lunch, I have a Pizza Party planned for this evening. I have a bottle of Dr Pepper, I have my water and my favourite snacks (Rice Cakes with Peanut Butter and Apple Slices) and a Birthday Cake that I didn't make (which I'm a little disappointed about if I'm honest!) shaped like a Caterpillar.
I have given myself permission to do almost nothing today. Originally my nothing would be punctuated with writing letters to the children of the Primary at my Church, singing along to the radio, drawing, playing on the Wii U, reading, binge-watching Netflix and curling up on the sofa to just listen to the silence of the house. Things I enjoy. Things I feel guilty for doing when there is more to be done.
I haven't resented the fact that today I needed to clean the bathroom or the kitchen (and I did them properly not just a quick wipe). I haven't baulked at needing to load the washing machine (four times) or the Tumble Dryer (once), or worry that I needed to unload and reload the dishwasher. I didn't even care that today was the day that we booked the Gas Engineer to come out to fix our Boiler.
I might not be a high-powered Businessman, or an Author, or a Teacher. I might not be rich in monetary terms (I'm really not rich in those terms, all donations gratefully received!). I might not be slim and at the peak of my physical fitness.
I am however happy. I have hobbies I enjoy, friends whom I love, family around me, a home, a life.
I'm one year older and wiser for it too.
Despite what I may have said in the past, at Midnight my age ticked over to 39. Mentally I feel no different to I did yesterday. I don't feel any wiser, but then again I don't feel my synapses degrading with each second ticking by. Physically I feel a little more tired than I did yesterday, but that's more to do with the fact I had a disturbed nights sleep and the lack of sunshine than anything to do with my age!
And yet, there has been a change within me.
Today, friends have been to visit with me. They have left cards and flowers and gifts and my absolute favourite Chocolate. The time we spent together was fleeting, but it was enough to let me know that they care.
I've had friends who couldn't physically see me today, send me WhatsApp messages, voice messages and texts, wishing me the best, hoping I'm being spoilt by my family and letting me know they love me, that they know today is my special celebration day and that they wanted to mark it. I just wish some of them didn't wake up so early to send me messages. 6am is far too early on the one day you've decided to have a lay in!
I've had cards and gifts from my husband and children, some silly things, some serious things, some "I never would have purchased this for myself things". I've had cards and lots of gifts from my Mum, each one designed (gifts this is!) to nurture a particular aspect of my life.
This is nothing new, but it is all different.
Today I have given myself permission to have what I like to eat. So I have a large portion of leftover Curry for lunch, I have a Pizza Party planned for this evening. I have a bottle of Dr Pepper, I have my water and my favourite snacks (Rice Cakes with Peanut Butter and Apple Slices) and a Birthday Cake that I didn't make (which I'm a little disappointed about if I'm honest!) shaped like a Caterpillar.
I have given myself permission to do almost nothing today. Originally my nothing would be punctuated with writing letters to the children of the Primary at my Church, singing along to the radio, drawing, playing on the Wii U, reading, binge-watching Netflix and curling up on the sofa to just listen to the silence of the house. Things I enjoy. Things I feel guilty for doing when there is more to be done.
I haven't resented the fact that today I needed to clean the bathroom or the kitchen (and I did them properly not just a quick wipe). I haven't baulked at needing to load the washing machine (four times) or the Tumble Dryer (once), or worry that I needed to unload and reload the dishwasher. I didn't even care that today was the day that we booked the Gas Engineer to come out to fix our Boiler.
I've realised that my life is exactly how I would want it.
I might not be a high-powered Businessman, or an Author, or a Teacher. I might not be rich in monetary terms (I'm really not rich in those terms, all donations gratefully received!). I might not be slim and at the peak of my physical fitness.
I am however happy. I have hobbies I enjoy, friends whom I love, family around me, a home, a life.
I'm one year older and wiser for it too.