How Things Change

I've been thinking about giving up A Mother's Ramblings on and off for a couple of years now. It's not that I don't want to blog any more, but I've lost focus on what I blog about.

Originally I set up A Mother's Ramblings because I wanted to share the funny things that Top Ender got up to, I wanted to record the memories in some way and as I had been blogging since I was around 18 (the blog I had then is well hidden/deleted/password protected/destroyed) it seemed natural to me a couple of years later when Big Boy was born, that I should merge my then three blogs into one general lifestyle blog.

Instead of blogging about my married life, or my family life, or my trying to budget life I merged them into A Mother's Ramblings and so, no longer were the stories just about the funny things that we did, but it was about my family adventure.

A family adventure

Blogging has changed since those heady days. Now, it's about reviews and sponsored posts and I get it. I want to make money as much as the next person and so doing what is popular in the moment on my personal blog has meant that for the last few years, I haven't really been out of the Top 10 on the Tots100. It's meant that I've been read each day by people all across the world, it's meant that I've made friends, that I've sort of found a career and that the children and my husband and I have had experiences handed to us that never in a million years would I have been able to give them.

It hasn't all been a bed of roses though. Someone once complained that I was talking too much about my Gran who had died, they told me that I should have finished grieving and that I was depressing them. I was so wrapped up in what I thought blogging was about that I listened to them. I stopped mentioning my Gran and now I realise how stupid that was. And I have a message to the person who made me feel like that. I forgive you. You were probably having a bad day when you fired that email off and I should have told you to stop reading my blog if you didn't like it rather than change who I am to please you.

Then there have been the bed of roses bits, (although how comfortable would a bed of roses be? I'd rather have a bed with a mattress and duvet) the amazing bits, the friends phoning up in the middle of the night bits, the gifts that have arrived that have made my jaw drop, the people I've met, the friends I've made, the support I've received, the sheer awesome of all of you reading.

And it's to you now dear reader that I'd like to apologise to. Sometimes, I forget who I'm talking to. In my head you're a person like me, apart from you live inside my computer. You're slightly goofy, you like a good laugh, you love a good meal, you love your family and spending time with them, you have morals and haven't killed anybody (well yet), you have your own struggles and your own issues and you're dealing with them. You're making the best of what you've been given and getting on with life, hoping that you aren't screwing up your children too badly and praying that when they grow up and think back on their lives they will think happy thoughts.

Sometimes I think I come across as talking down to you. I'm sorry for that.

Sometimes I think I come across as I know better than you. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it.

Sometimes I think I come across like a whining brat. I'm sorry, I need to work on that.

I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad for whatever reason, it wasn't my intention and I do hope you'll forgive me.

What I really want to come across as, is Pippa.

Me on a really good hair day

Pippa who thinks a thousand things a minute and hopes that everyone can keep up.

Pippa who loves her family.

Pippa who cries when she sees Charity adverts on TV, or shows like DIY SOS.

Pippa who is slightly scared of the dark.

Pippa who can laugh for ten minutes solid at a stupid joke.

I want to be the Pippa that shows everyone that she loves them, because that's who I really am in real-not-on-the-internet-life.

And so I made a decision, I'm not closing A Mother's Ramblings, I'm going to go back to basics. I'm going to talk to you as if you are my best friend, as if I'm sending you an email or talking to you or just letting you know that I haven't forgotten about you.

I hope that you'll come with me on this journey, that you'll hold my hand and even though life changes that we'll still be friends as I'd really like that.

Thanks for reading.


PS Can I rely on you to kick me in the butt, if I start acting like a tool?!